September 23, 2020
What drives a high-functioning person to achieving what they've achieved? Listen to this powerful episode to find out!
Listen to the episode
What are the factors that push a high-functioning person into working towards all kinds of success, whether it be in a relationship, in a business, or even in oneself? Do high-functioning people also fall into the tendency of "victim mentality", and if they do, how do they get through it?
With my amazing guest Ashley Brown, also known as Ashley Empowers, a successful and influential workplace relationship coach, we answer those questions by delving into her story of where she started and how she got to where she is now. We also touch on the topic of defining what is a high-functioning person!
Dr. Chloe [00:00:00] Hi, and welcome to the high functioning hotspot with me, Dr. Chloe Carmichael today's episode has a new guest named Ashley Empowers and actually is a business woman that also runs, I guess they call it a coaching business, but it's really more than coaching because when I think coaching, I think one to one.
Dr. Chloe [00:00:28] Whereas Ashley really does one to many. I mean, she has hundreds of thousands of followers on social media and she's acting with people through YouTube and Instagram and everything else. And her focus is really about helping women to grow and empower themselves. Now, what I found really interesting though, as a psychologist, who's interested in high functioning people is that a lot of people want to try to be a coach and.
Dr. Chloe [00:00:57] You know, start a platform and be a leader and connect with people everywhere, but they're actually not necessarily able to do it. You know, they, they may have a lot of, yeah. Charisma, a lot of ideas, but for whatever reason, yeah. They just don't connect the dots and gain traction and end up. With hundreds of thousands of followers and a very successful business, the way that Ashley grew for herself.
Dr. Chloe [00:01:19] So I was interested partly in learning about her business and how she empowers people, because obviously that's part of being high functioning, but I was also interested in exactly how she put all this together as a high functioning person, herself and how she hustled and made this whole thing come together into the big, successful, profitable business that she has.
Dr. Chloe [00:01:42] So, if that sounds interesting to you, then I hope that you will stay around and listen, because I really enjoyed my conversation with Ashley. And I think that you will too. Ashley. I just want to thank you so much for joining me here today. You have such a special, unique way of letting your high functioning spirit shine.
Dr. Chloe [00:02:05] So if you don't mind to just share a little bit about, you know, what it is that you do. I think that you could probably explain it so much better than I could.
Ashley Empowers [00:02:05] Yes. Well, first off, thank you so much for having me. I'm really grateful to be sharing on your podcast, but I'm a little bit about me. My name is Ashley Brown.
Ashley Empowers [00:02:27] Many people know me as Ashley empowers. I'm a wife, a mother of two, an entrepreneur, and a relationship coach. And I essentially use. Social media to reach people and millennials all over the world to educate them and inspire them to pursue healthy relationship and keep God first when it comes to dating and marriage.
Ashley Empowers [00:02:52] And what inspired me to start my brand, which is called dating with purpose is because I grew up witnessing a lot of unhealthy dysfunctional relationships. And it was. My after going through a lot of toxic relationships on my own, I decided that I needed to be the change that I wanted to see. And it was my desire since I was a young child to have a family and to one day have a healthy relationship.
Ashley Empowers [00:03:23] And I know that there's a lot of people that can relate to my journey. And so that's, what's inspired me to just start a brand, specifically for millennials, really just showing them that one. Healthy relationships do exist. And two, if they make the right choices, it can change their generational legacy forever.
Ashley Empowers [00:03:46] With my platform. My audience ranges from a little over 120,000 people. I have over 8 million views on YouTube. And when I made my decision to go into entrepreneurship full time. Almost five years ago. My mindset at the time was if I can just match my corporate America salary, I will be fine.
Ashley Empowers [00:04:16] And shortly after me saying that statement, I decided to dream a little bigger and I said, what if I can make six figures my first year being a full time entrepreneur. And that's exactly what I did. So my first year of business, I exceeded six figures in my business, and that was almost five years ago. And I haven't looked back since that first year I tripled my corporate America salary.
Ashley Empowers [00:04:44] And now being from that first year to year five, it's been over a multi six figure business.
Dr. Chloe [00:04:54] Wow. That's fantastic. And I saw in line it looks like your husband is your business partner. So does he pretty much work supporting you in the business?
Ashley Empowers [00:05:05] Yeah, so we work together. Our official company is Brown, global empowerment, but he is also a Christian life coach and a speaker.
Dr. Chloe [00:05:13] Wow. That's awesome. There's nothing like family to help you some, you know, get through some of that, these things with, you know, social media and reaching out and yeah, it really requires that personal touch. And I know myself, it's hard for me to really personally touch as much stuff as I want two in my business.
Dr. Chloe [00:05:32] And so for you, like, you've almost exactly like cloning yourself, but your husband is really. He's a part of you, so it doesn't get much more personal than that. So it's great that you're able to team up with him.
Ashley Empowers [00:05:47] Yeah. And I also will say, so my first year of business, it was essentially me. I was a one woman show.
Ashley Empowers [00:05:54] So now in our business I do have, we do have a few. Part time employees and contract employees that help us run the business. But for those who think, you know, you need to have an extravagant staff in order to produce high end in their business. I'm a living testimony that you can do it by yourself.
Dr. Chloe [00:06:16] Yeah, definitely. Absolutely. So how, I mean, part of what I'm interested in Ashley is, you know, what it is exactly that, that you're doing and how it's helping other people to improve their own functioning. Of course. But at the same time, yeah. I'm just also interested in you as, as a dynamo high functioning person yourself.
Dr. Chloe [00:06:43] If you don't mind sharing, how did you go from being in one place of saying, you know, you sound like you had some dysfunctional relationships to now having a wonderful husband and a profitable business. How did you personally make that happen?
Ashley Empowers [00:07:09] Well, first, when you say high functioning, what exactly do you mean by that?
Dr. Chloe [00:07:10] I'm so glad you asked me. That's just like, it's like a birthday present for me when somebody gives me the chance to answer that question. So in psychology we think of high functioning people as people that are able to go beyond meeting their own basic needs of, you know, food, clothing, and shelter for themselves.
Dr. Chloe [00:07:32] And really going beyond that to have relationships that, that are truly fulfilling or taking really good care of their health and their body and their space. And I just want to say also that in psychology, we are culturally sensitive to socioeconomic situations. So if somebody we're not taking good care of their medical health, because they were, you know, in a situation where medical care wasn't readily available, we wouldn't say, Oh, gee, that person is lower functioning.
Dr. Chloe [00:08:07] Cause they're not taking care of themselves. It's more of a situational barrier. But assuming that a person, you know, has the option to take good care of themselves and others. And to create good relationships. Some people just won't do that even when they have the option. So what a high functioning person is the person who does those when the option is available.
Dr. Chloe [00:08:31] Excellent. Okay. So to answer your question, I have to give you a little bit of my history. So I'm half Nigerian. My father is Nigeria and he actually lives in Africa. My mom is black American and why I believe that I am a High. Functioning individual. And I do consider that a compliment is because a part of it is innate.
Ashley Empowers [00:09:00] So my dad grew up in extreme poverty. I'm in a third world country. And when he had the. The ability to come to the United States to study, he really ingrained in his children, the importance of education, and it really opened our eyes about the opportunities that we have in front of us. That a lot of people weren't taking advantage of.
Ashley Empowers [00:09:27] So when I was in college and I would see people showing up to class in their pajamas, but I would get myself together. For the day, I understood that it was approved privilege to be able to go to school because when I would visit Nigeria and I would speak to people that like I lived in the country, there, questions they would ask me is how do I come to the United States to go to school?
Ashley Empowers [00:09:50] So I believe that I'm high functioning one because I realized how much of a gift and a blessing, I have to be in the situation that I'm in. So like you said, some people don't have the opportunities. We wouldn't consider people that aren't afforded those opportunities, low functioning, but the people that are they're high functioning.
Ashley Empowers [00:10:08] So really from a young age, I've had a perspective of taking advantage of the resources and things around me. Number two, I have vision. So when it comes to my relationship in my marriage, I grew up with my mom. In America, who for the majority of my life was a single mother there. And it was interesting because when I was young, we were on government assistance, like she had like a housing voucher, things like that.
Ashley Empowers [00:10:39] But the difference was she made sure we lived in an area that was with high functioning families. So we. A lot of people that receive government assistance, they live in like the projects or the hood or the side of town. That's not high functioning, but she said, if I can expose my children to a different way of living, it would change their mindset.
Ashley Empowers [00:11:05] And so that also has contributed to me being a high functioning individual, because although I grew up in a single home, everyone on my street were. Married couples that had children and they allow them to see healthy relationships. So I grew up desiring that. So that vision is what allowed me to steer and navigate my life to end at that end goal.
Ashley Empowers [00:11:33] So, when it comes to business I again, went to college. I got a degree in business and I later on went to get an executive MBA. And I said, you know, I have the ability to take the gifts that the Lord has given me and turn it in to a profitable business. And. one of the reasons how I believe that it has happened one, you know, just divine wisdom from the Lord, also the ability to show up.
Ashley Empowers [00:12:12] And that has been my, my motto even throughout everything that's happening in the world is to continue to show up. So when it comes to relationships or when it comes to business or when it comes to just being a productive individual. A lot of times it doesn't feel good, right? It's not, it's not desirable.
Ashley Empowers [00:12:33] No, I think it's just my choice over the years to continue to show up, despite my feelings and despite what people say that I can or cannot do.
Dr. Chloe [00:12:48] Wow. That is such a powerful story. And you know, I mean, I agree with you and by the way, yes it is. And, you know, I guess I would call it a compliment, you know, to say that someone is higher functioning.
Dr. Chloe [00:13:02] Even though I just want to say also as a psychologist, there are people, for example, that might have cognitive disabilities and things that. You know, would prevent them from functioning on the level that you could. Um, but that's, you know, not any sort of an insult to them at all, of course. But it is a compliment for me, I guess what I mean is that you chose to take those opportunities that were offered to you.
Dr. Chloe [00:13:30] A lot of people have parents that do bend over backwards to put them into. You know, good neighborhoods, good schools giving them resources, you know, but the kids, for some reason just don't take it in certain situations. So, you know, to me that the high functioning person that you are is really showing not so much by the opportunities that were given to you, but by the fact that that you chose to take them, that you had that
Dr. Chloe [00:13:56] Personal drive and sense of personal responsible and it's interesting, as you said, some of it is taught to you by your parents. And and believe it or not, some of that stuff is actually somewhat genetic. Sometimes people are surprised to learn. That personality traits are somewhat heritable, meaning that you can inherit them, you know, literally through your gender.
Dr. Chloe [00:14:21] So babies actually have temperaments. And so some of those actually, you know, even come from our parents through our genetics and some of them come through the way that we're raised. And, you know, as you said, some of them, you know, May come from from God or, you know, from our own freewill. I think that there are parts of it that we, you know, psychologists really don't understand.
Dr. Chloe [00:14:44] So that's, that's really interesting.
Ashley Empowers [00:14:46] Yeah. I, 100% see how that is possible and something interesting that my mom always says because she has four daughters and I'm her third child. And. She attributes our temperaments to how her pregnancies were. So for instance, with my older, my older sister, the one, the second child, she was in a different place in her life where she was in a, you know, a toxic relationship.
Ashley Empowers [00:15:19] And she had different issues in her life. And my sister has a really fiery personality and she said, you know, she really contributes. Her pregnancy and what she experienced too. Some of my sister's personality traits, whereas for me, the third child, she said, you know, her pregnancy, she was stable where she lived, she was stable in her career.
Ashley Empowers [00:15:44] She was stable in many areas of her life. And she had a very. Peaceful pregnancy. And she says, you know, actually I think that contributes to your sense of calm because you did not have, I have a lot of issues or anything traumatic happened while you were in my womb. So I think it's interesting how a lot of factors can affect, the personality traits people have.
Dr. Chloe [00:16:09] Yeah, definitely. Your mom is right. So you and your mom and perhaps listeners may be interested to know that. In fact, actually, Ashley, what you're seeing is a hundred percent true. There are many psychology studies that have been done on babies that were actually in utero. And if they had a mom, you know, that maybe had a lot of anxiety or depression, right.
Dr. Chloe [00:16:32] Those moms would actually have elevated levels in their blood, for example, of cortisol and other stress hormones. And so then the baby does get exposed to those things. And that's not even to say that if your mom was stressed out during your pregnancy, that it's an automatic disadvantage, because another way of.
Dr. Chloe [00:16:52] Seeing it is that somebody whose mom had a very turbulent time during her pregnancy, um, that person might be very well able to manage major, you know, swings and challenges. Maybe that's the person, you know, that grows up and learns how to drive an airplane or something like that
Dr. Chloe [00:17:12] So, every experience you know, doesn't have to be positive or negative just because it was more or less calm or turbulent. But I just wanted to say that you're absolutely correct that the mother's pregnancy does affect the temperament of the child. Yeah. I was curious though, Ashley, if you can talk a little bit about, you know, you said that you went from one point in time of, you know, just feeling like you didn't have those things, and then you had this aha moment of seeing, you know, the gifts that you have, you could Parley them into a successful business.
Dr. Chloe [00:17:50] A lot of people think that they can parlay their, you know, talents into a successful business and. You know, I see this as a woman entrepreneur, myself, which I actually personally struggle with the label of being a quote woman, entrepreneurial. Like I think we're kind of like, I just think of us as people, but at the same time, when I was recruited to like an entrepreneurs group, they were like, Oh, we really want to have more women.
Dr. Chloe [00:18:18] Yeah. Cause there's not as many women in business and all this stuff. And I'm just curious, like for yourself, how did you go from having that moment of thinking that you could enact this thing or create this thing that is somewhat based on your identity as a woman? How did you actually make it happen?
Ashley Empowers [00:18:38] Why do you think that you were successful? Whereas others who have tried something similar were not as successful.
Ashley Empowers [00:18:44] That's a really great question and it really stems back to those innate traits. So. When I was six years old, I started my first unofficial business. One of my older sisters and the desire to start the business was because we didn't have allowance or we didn't have recreational income as children.
Ashley Empowers [00:19:11] And we wanted to have money to walk down the street to the bowling alley and get candy from the vending machine. So our minds, we were like, well, if we need money, my mom doesn't have. You know, the extra money that she's just dishing out to us. How can we creatively do it? So at six years old, I started my first unofficial business where we created what we called Chinese art.
Ashley Empowers [00:19:35] We would scribble crowns on notebook paper and sell it to our neighbors for 50 cents. So that was my first unofficial business. And any business that I've started, it's came from a place of me wanting to have the freedom flexibility in the end, come to get the things that I desire. So as a child, it was the hot tamales and the vending machine when I was 23 years old.
Ashley Empowers [00:20:01] And I was in my graduate program, I started an online business because my desire was to with my corporate America job and have the freedom, flexibility. I desire now that I've been in full time entrepreneurship for the past five years, that. Came about because before my husband and I had children, my desire was to be able to stay home with my children in the early years and be an active parent in the household, especially in the younger years.
Ashley Empowers [00:20:36] And so when I was in corporate America, And I got pregnant. I had already, we started to build an online presence, but I wasn't, I didn't have any products. I didn't have any way that I was serving my audience in form of a product or a program. So I said, you know, My pregnancy, I was getting later in my third trimester and I was just really trying to creatively think, how can I do this full time?
Ashley Empowers [00:21:04] I loved being able to reach people all over the world via the internet. And so I just made a decision and I took a step out on faith to do it full time. And so at that point I had my daughter, I took three. I had my daughter. I took three months off for maternity leave. And then when I went back to work, I said, okay, I really want to be home with her.
Ashley Empowers [00:21:30] And so I worked for three months when she was six months, years old, I quit my job and I started creating online programs, digital products, and working with brands to be a content creation, full time. And it all, every time that I've started something, it all. Rooted from a desire. And so what I tell people, entrepreneurs, women, entrepreneurs whoever's listening is that you have to have a strong enough why?
Ashley Empowers [00:21:59] So my, why was, I want to be able to pour into my children. I want the flexibility to be able to see her roll over or crawl Paul, or I want those experiences and that my why was so strong that I would stay up late and research. I would you know, I would. Really just lean in to how to make this possible.
Dr. Chloe [00:22:25] Especially when you see a lot of people doing it. It's not like I was doing something new success leaves, clues. And so. For me, it all started with a strong why and a very clear desire on what I envisioned on the other side of entrepreneurship to look like.
Dr. Chloe [00:22:48] Wow. You know, Ashley, I just I'm so struck. I'm a mom as well, by the way.
Dr. Chloe [00:22:48] So I totally relate to what you're saying. How old are your kids now or how old does that little? Three months slash six month old at that time. How, how old is she now?
Ashley Empowers [00:23:06]She's four and I have a one and a half year old son.
Dr. Chloe [00:23:09] Wow. That's great. And you know, your business is obviously thriving you know, which is one of the things I like here as well in this show is I sometimes bring in, you know, very successful entrepreneurs.
Ashley Empowers [00:23:13] And it's always nice for people to hear, you know, the success stories and you now just, you know, you have millions of views on YouTube, right? it's really exciting, but as I hear your story, Of how that happened when there's one thing that I don't hear, which is, I just think also worth highlighting, which is that I don't hear any sort of victim mentality.
Dr. Chloe [00:23:39] And I'm just curious if you can talk about that. How do people navigate the difference between. Being conscious of what has wounded them or conscious of challenges without lapsing into a victim mentality. How did, how did people navigate that? Or how do you navigate that?
Ashley Empowers [00:24:14] Wow, that's a really great question.
Ashley Empowers [00:24:10] So. Ooh, that's such a great question. I mean, so let me say this. It is very easy to have a victim mentality, but I really feel like in order to overcome that you have to feed your mind. Messages of faith and hope in that sparks something within you. So for me, I, 100% have moments of feeling like a victim or feeling like, Ooh, should I do this?
Ashley Empowers [00:24:46] Or should I even put this out there? You know, I have my insecurities, I'm human, but how I get past those is. Beating my mind, faith building messages. So that could look like listening to sermons. It can look, let's look like listening to audio books or listening to motivational messages and something that's really interesting is I'm really.
Ashley Empowers [00:25:11] Fascinated by Navy seals. So sometimes I will watch Navy seals training because if you watch their training, Navy seals are very mentally tough. And I feel like in order to survive in life, you have to have a level of mental toughness. And so for me, Although I have moments of insecurity. Although I have moments of feeling like a victim.
Ashley Empowers [00:25:39] I overcome that through prayer. Yeah. And feeding my mind things that strengthen my mind. And so people go to the gym to strengthen their muscles, but you also have to strengthen your faith. You have to strengthen your mind and you have to continuously pour into your areas of insecurity. And I think a lot of time people.
Ashley Empowers [00:26:03] Fall into that victim mentality and they just say, okay, I have this mentality, I have this idea security and they just accept it, but I don't accept it. I'm okay. Constantly like, okay, well, how can I renew my mind? How can I change the world? I'm thinking about this thing, because your thoughts are so powerful and
Ashley Empowers [00:26:21] Whatever you're thinking your actions are going to follow. And so I'm constantly thinking about correcting wrong thoughts and just taking captive thoughts that don't align with God's best and what's possible. And Yeah. So I think it, I think it all boils down to what you're consuming and understanding.
Ashley Empowers [00:26:49] You know, don't feel bad if you have had moments of feeling like a victim or if you have been hacked or if you felt so depressed that you feel unmotivated to do anything, like don't feel bad about that because that's normal, that's human, but you also have the power to literally fuel your mind. The things that you need to thrive.
Dr. Chloe [00:27:12] Yes. Yes, Ashley. I mean, that's such a powerful message. You know, and, and you've brought up faith a couple of times that I know that's a big part of who you are and you know, for me, it's actually also a big part of who I am. I don't really. It's not part of my professional, you know bio, so to speak the way that it's woven into yours.
[00:27:35] but I wanted to actually talk about that too. Because you might be interested to know, you might even know this already that in psychology studies, religiosity the degree to which a person is religious has been shown to be a protective factor to the point where it doesn't actually even seem to matter what their religion is.
Dr. Chloe [00:27:57] You know, if they're, you know, Jewish or Muslim or Christian or any Hindu, it doesn't matter really what religion they are. Just the fact that they are religious and psychology researchers that first thought, well, maybe that's just because you know, many religions. You know, kind of discourage drunkenness or obesity or a lot of drug use, you know, they, they really say the body is the temple and they guide people to take care of their body.
Dr. Chloe [00:28:22] Maybe that's why they're more resilient than people that don't have religiosity. Um, but they actually controlled for those factors. And so they even then compared the religious people to other people that were not religious. But that, um, just took really good care of themselves and the religious people still you know, we're hiring resiliency.
Dr. Chloe [00:28:45] and you know, for me, I guess I was just wondering if you, if you could share, if you don't mind and if you don't want to share it's okay. But I know a lot of people wish they could be religious. They want to believe. In fact, you know, my, my husband is actually one of them. He's not really religious, but he wishes he could be.
Dr. Chloe [00:29:06] And I, I know we've all had doubts, at least I have and I'm curious if you have ever had times of doubt or times when you weren't feeling connected to your religious identity and how you dealt with those times.
Ashley Empowers [00:29:35] Thank you for asking that. Yeah. Well, thank you for asking that question and I didn't grow up going to church.
Ashley Empowers [00:29:35] I didn't grow up religious. So I grew up with my mom teaching us that we had the ability to pray, but it was just kind of like now I lay me down asleep type of prayers. Like thank you God, for this food. Like, it wasn't any depth to it. It wasn't until I was 21 years old. Where I had an encounter with the Holy spirit when I was in college, it was a week before I graduated.
Ashley Empowers [00:30:02] And essentially what was on my heart. So strong was in order to have what I desired when it came to. A healthy family, a healthy relationship, these different things that I wanted, that I needed to repent and really start doing things that honor God, because in college, I wasn't like I was a hot mess.
Ashley Empowers [00:30:27] I was drinking, smoking like it was, I was a mess. And from that point in my life, when I had that clarity, it was like one in the morning and my wordy house at college, I decided like, Hmm, like I will start giving this religion a try. Right. And at the time, like I thought it was just. Like religious activities going to church.
Ashley Empowers [00:30:53] I'm doing these things that I saw everybody else doing. But as I grew in my relationship with the Lord, the number one thing that I realized is that it is all about relationship. So for people who desire to have that intimacy, you literally build your relationship with God as if you're building it with a person, you know, spend time with him.
Ashley Empowers [00:31:16] You know, if you're in a relationship and you're married to someone. But you never speak to them. You never spend any time with them. You're not going to have an intimate relationship. And so it wasn't until that I was intentional about spending some time with the Lord that could look like me reading my Bible for me.
Ashley Empowers [00:31:34] I love. Active meditation. So what is real to me is going on what I call prayer walks, where I'm literally walking, talking to the Lord about my, my thoughts, my insecurities what's going on. And I seriously feel so comforted after I just pour out and surrender whatever's happening. And so I would say that.
Ashley Empowers [00:32:01] Then from someone who did not grow up religious and, you know, over the past 10 years of my life, dedicated my time to be having an intimate relationship with the Lord by spending time with him and learning, but to the best that I can about the Bible. Cause some of the stuff you don't, I'm not a theologian.
Ashley Empowers [00:32:17] I do not understand, but yeah, I feel like God gives us grace and he draws near to those who draw near to him. And at the end of the day people's perception, no matter what religion you are, I'm specifically speaking about Christianity because that's what I am that I just realized, like how much the Lord loves me.
Ashley Empowers [00:32:37] And I just had to be willing to receive it. So I think if people just say, Hey, you know, like, You know, one, I talked to God, like I'm talking to a friend and I'm just like, I want to explain experience that love that I saw so many other people's experiencing, and it was just me humbling myself and not trying to speak differently, but just will we be my authentic self has really opened that door for me having a relationship with the Lord and, you know, I can't.
Ashley Empowers [00:33:10] Speak for anybody else, but I will say, and you are, is doing the, doing the best that you can not trying to imitate somebody else. Like the Lord will reveal himself to you. I'm 100%. It's like he desires to have that relationship with people. So for me, it's, it's been, it's been growth. It's been lessons, but what I really just want to.
Ashley Empowers [00:33:34] Wrap up my point here, it's all about relationship and you can't expect to have a relationship with someone that you don't spend time with, but the beauty of it is the Lord desires that, so yeah.
Dr Chloe [00:33:34] That is beautiful. And I just want to pick up on something that you said there, which is you used the word meditation.
Dr Chloe [00:33:56] So I also was a yoga teacher before I was a clinical psychologist and I'm really into meditation as well. And I love sharing meditation with my clients. And I actually personally did grow up with a lot of. Religious training. And I did not grow up with any kind of meditation or yoga. In fact, I think, you know, my family would probably have characterize those things as potentially astray, you know from the Christian path potentially.
Dr Chloe [00:34:28] And I actually found that. My early training in prayer actually really primed me for meditation because it is still that quiet contemplative Headspace that we get into. Obviously, it's, it's different, you know, if you believe that, you know, you're praying to a God versus if you're connecting with the universe or just, you know, connecting deeply within yourself, but.
Dr Chloe [00:34:59] I would say that from many perspectives, from a psychology standpoint, the meditation and the prayer, there are probably somewhat overlapping. I would be curious to see if those psychology studies is looking at resilience in people that were religious versus not religious. If they had also thrown in.
Dr Chloe [00:35:19] People who were not religious, but who were meditators. If those people would have scored the same or similar on resilience, you know, to the religious people. Cause I couldn't help, but also wonder how much of that was that ability, that skill and that habit of going into a quiet contemplative place.
Dr Chloe [00:35:42] With yourself or with God, you know, however, you know, you're conceptualizing it.
Ashley Empowers [00:36:05] Yeah. I was going to say, I want to say one more thing about that, because one, that study would be interesting to see that. But to kind of go back to one of your earlier questions on being a high functioning individual and you know, just kind of being able to push past certain mindsets to accomplish things.
Ashley Empowers [00:36:11] It. A part of that really does have to do with the ability to get quiet. So a lot of the business ideas that I've had a lot of the just plans and game plans. I would call it. I've gotten, have been in times of being quiet. So even in the Bible, you know, Jesus, when he fasted for 40 days or he would retreat to these quiet places to pray on his own.
Ashley Empowers [00:36:44] And I feel like that is so powerful, especially in this generation where social media consumes so much of our time. It's hard to. You know, it's hard to connect with that part of yourself when you're so in it dated with media and messages. So for me, one of. Something that contributes to my high function is the ability to get quiet and to listen.
Ashley Empowers [00:37:10] And I'm taking breaks from social media, limiting the amount of information that I'm ingesting on a daily basis really helps me with that.
Dr. Chloe [00:37:30] Yeah, definitely. That, that makes a lot of sense. I think that's a hard thing to do for many people. So that makes a lot of sense. Ashley, is there anything that I haven't asked you about that you wanted to share or any questions that you had for me?
Dr. Chloe [00:37:39] You know, I just, I can't believe how time flies and so we're probably, you know, Reaching the wrap-up phase here, but you know, there's no great rush. So if you had any questions or if there was anything else that you wanted to share now would be the time.
Ashley Empowers[00:38:07]Well first, I just want to thank you for having me.I've really enjoyed our conversation. And I think you asked a lot of insightful questions and I know that your listeners that come here are interested in your wisdom, especially from a psychologist. Standpoint. And one thing that I love about psychology is how, you know, especially being that you're a psychologist, you know just, I think it's fascinating about the studies and I'm really fascinated about.
Ashley Empowers [00:38:28] The mind and the power of the mind. And so I just want to encourage people that, with everything that's happening in the world, how important it is to really guard your mind and to fuel it with things that will. Give you hope because at the end of the day, someone who has hope, so we'll continue to show up despite what's happening.
Ashley Empowers [00:38:54] And so I just want to encourage people to really, you know, stay informed. But also protect your mind because that will really be a determinant of where you steer yourself.
Dr. Chloe [00:39:21] Yeah, that is so true. Ashley. I think that's a great note for us too. Yeah. Wrap up on and I hope everyone listening has enjoyed the chance to steer their mind over to Ashley and powers.
Dr. Chloe [00:39:24] And to me, for this episode, it's been really great to connect with you, Ashley, thank you again for coming today. It's been really, really a special treat to have the chance to talk with you. And I look forward to keeping our connection.
Ashley Empowers [00:39:51] Absolutely take care.
Dr. Chloe [00:39:53] Have a great day. Bye Ashley.
Dr. Chloe [00:39:57]Wow. What a great conversation I got to have with Ashley today. I'm so thankful that I do get to have this podcast because it's such an amazing opportunity to reach out and talk to so many people that I wouldn't always normally get the chance to dive in with them. So I really did enjoy the chance to learn from Ashley, not only on a business and logistics perspective, how she did what she did.
Dr. Chloe [00:40:19] But then on the personal side, learning her story of how she went through her own personal difficulties and got somehow into contact with religiosity, with religion, which as we talked about is an interesting thing that not everyone connects with religion, but that psychology studies do show that people who connect with religion.
Dr. Chloe [00:40:39] Do get benefits out of it. And so if that's something that you're thinking about, but you're just not religious, you know, please remember that there's always meditation as well. I think meditation, it would be a really great alternative to religion. So if you're interested in meditation, you can always go to
Dr. Chloe [00:40:48] dr.chloe.com/breathe. I'll be sure to link that in the show notes as well. If anyone's interested in that kind of stuff. But otherwise, thank you so much for listening and I'm looking forward to the chance to continue connecting with you through the high functioning hotspot or on social media. I'm all over on all the different platforms.
Dr. Chloe [00:41:04] So I'm looking forward to staying in touch with you. Have a good rest of the day.
Harness the Power of Silence in 5 Easy Steps
As a yoga teacher-turned-psychologist, I’ve always been amazed at the overlap between psychology and yoga, specifically in mindfulness and in silence. One yogic practice that I find fantastic as a psychologist is intentional and compassionate silence. Whether you are in a relationship or currently single and living alone, you might feel some sort of pressure to always answer the phone, constantly make small talk with a partner, or always have “something interesting” to say. Intentional silence is a great way to combat this pressure, and can just be a fun way to deepen your relationships and play around with nonverbal communication!
Intentional and compassionate silence is time you and your partner will hold, or you will hold for yourself, to be intentionally quiet. Here are some guidelines for defining a period of silence! Read the full blog