Mindful Shopping and Self-Image
Mindful Shopping and Self-image
October 7, 2020
How can being mindful about the things you buy help you build your self-image and sense of accomplishment? Tune in to find out!
Everyone has different shopping habits that can grow over the years, but how do you control this impulse in a sense that actually makes you feel better about yourself?
With my guest Sydney Sadick, host, style-expert and fashion influencer, we touch on how her own shopping preferences have grown over time as well as how she has handled her life as a young, career-driven woman in the fashion industry. We also talk about her upcoming book, Aim High!
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:00:08] Hello, and welcome to the high functioning hotspot with me, Dr. Chloe Carmichael clinical psychologist in New York city. My practice focuses on what's known as high functioning people. So, of course my podcast, the high functioning hotspot does the same and high-functioning people come in all shapes and sizes.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:00:26] So my podcasts could have just basically almost anyone on it. And today my guest is Sydney Sadick, and she has a very interesting American on-air fashion and entertainment commentator she's appeared on. In addition, New York, all kinds of exciting places. And she has a new book coming out as well, which kind of looks at the way that we do our own personal style.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:00:55] And how that can actually start to impact the way we feel about ourselves and the way that we live our lives. So as a psychologist, I was certainly interested in that aspect of talking with Sidney about her take on the way that we put ourselves together really can impact the way that we feel. But I was also just interested in talking to Sydney, herself as a high functioning person.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:01:18] She's. Super young and has done all of this amazing stuff in the past fashion world. And a lot of people, you know, might write off someone who's in the fashion world. As you know, not necessarily intellectual, which is a stereotype. I just wanted to say, I do not subscribe to and so that's why I was really
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:01:39] Excited to learn as well that she wrote this book and that it sounds like it has a lot of really interesting thoughtful work in it. So I was really excited to chat with her and without further ado, here's my interview with Sydney Sadick.
Sydney Sadick:[00:02:05] You look great. I'm not surprised. Of course. You're very casual for people who I see her right now.
Sydney Sadick:[00:02:05] She's like super made up. She looks completely glam. So this is like your quarantine in the house.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:02:23] Yeah. This is my fourth outfit of the day. To be honest with you, because I have my outfit that I do in the morning for my Instagram lives, my lunchtime at Sydney show. Then I had to film a video for my book.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:02:34] Then I was doing the sponsored posts for my feed, and then I was like, I need to be a little more comfy. So this is my fourth book.
Sydney Sadick:[00:02:42] Oh, my goodness. Wow. Well, you look fantastic.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:02:45] And it's kind of one of the things that I was thinking about since my podcast is about high functioning people. You know, and there's, there's almost a stereotype and I just want to say.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:03:02] Start by saying, obviously you're living proof that the stereotype is not true, but sometimes there is a stereotype like, Oh, somebody in fashion that they're not going to be like as intellectual or high functioning. And honestly, I suffer almost opposite right. So, because I'm a psychologist and, you know, very academic.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:03:21] I am sometimes struggling to say to people, Hey, wait a minute. I'm a woman too. And I have a feminine side and all this other stuff too. But it's, it's awesome that you're clearly able to do both. So you have a book in press with Simon and Schuster called Aim High
Sydney Sadick:[00:03:33] Aim High’s the nickname and how to style your life and achieve your goals is like the full fledge one.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:03:41] Yeah, well, I actually really love it of, you know, the idea behind that, you know, styling your life and achieving your goals because I was a yoga teacher before I was a psychologist. And so the body mind connection is really important to me, the way that we look and take care of ourselves and then, you know, the way that.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:03:43] That we feel. And I do want to talk more about your book, but I'm also curious if you had a chance to read my blog about mindful shopping.
Sydney Sadick:[00:04:04] So I did read a little bit about it and it's interesting. I mean, it's so interesting how you. Like broke it down like that. You know, mind shopping in general, you know, to me it's so easy to not be mindful.
Sydney Sadick:[00:04:19] And I think, you know, training yourself to become more conscious of what you do have you spend, what you're choosing to put on your body is what being mindful is partially about.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:04:33]Yeah, definitely. So when we're shopping for things for ourselves or for our home, I mean, again, as a clinical psychologist who works with a lot of high functioning people, a lot of them have really great earning power.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:04:48] And then sometimes they're just like, where did all of my money go? You know, like I earned half a million dollars this year and I'm in debt, you know, how, how does that happen? Right. And so I was looking at, in my blog I talk about this. Safe system where so people buy for reasons like the assets for self image to improve their self image or the a is, you know, to have a sense of accomplishment.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:04:58] And you're like, Oh, it's like I bought vitamins. Now I'm someone who takes vitamins and it makes me feel like I accomplished something and I won't get into the often the E under safe, but I was really interested in your perspective because the self image and accomplishment piece. Almost do in a way, tie into the idea of aiming high and achieving your goals.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:05:33] Right? So, I mean, obviously we can trick ourselves and buy stuff. That's actually not really supporting that side of it, but then there's a positive side as well. So I'm just so curious, you know, from your side and your relationship with shopping, how do you manage that for your son?
Sydney Sadick:[00:05:51] First of all, that's such an evolution for me. And I think for so many women, I feel like as you get older, like with everything in life, you become a little bit more confident, unsure of who you are and that translates to all aspects of what you do. So when I was younger, I think I was much and I'm 26 years old. So I don't want to try to act like I'm older than I am.
Sydney Sadick:[00:06:12] But, you know, when I was a teenager, I was just rushing. I feel I had to go get the new hot item. And I was very, you know, not that I'm not excited today, but I think I was even more Uber excited about the new and the sparkling and the glitter. And I feel like today I am more cautious about what I spend my money on and why I'm buying these items and what they will do for me beyond giving me that instantaneous gratification that only lasts a moment of like, when you actually buy it.
Sydney Sadick:[00:06:40] And then you're excited to have it. Versus then how it could actually become more, a part of your wardrobe was this, which is also really your life, right? Because how you dress for all of your life's tasks and occasions really does alter how you think and how you feel. So for me I think just become more mindful of all that.
Sydney Sadick:[00:07:00] I try to save my money on the classics items that I know will not go out of style and will wear well. And then when I do want those trendier pieces, that's when I go to my forever 21’s, Zahra, is kind of getting a little pricier now, but you know, those under a hundred dollars. Focused stores so that when I do just want that really hot new item, I don't feel as badly about it afterwards, and it's not hurting me financially.
Sydney Sadick:[00:07:24] So it's creating that balance and that's something that I believe in all aspects of life. How can you do what you want? That makes you feel good about yourself, but finding the balance as to what's, you know, reasonable.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:07:36] Right, right. Absolutely. I actually look at kind of a similar perspective with my previous episode, which is about mindful drinking.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:07:44] So the way that people can actually, you know, drink for truly maximum pleasure, I just wanted to all also really validate what you're saying about how clothing does affect the way that we look and feel, and it, and it does affect the way that others perceive us. And so as a psychologist, we call that social signaling.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:08:03] And so it's almost like an extension of our body language. So I can definitely see where that would be very meaningful. But I'm so curious though, Sydney, I mean, you're only 26. I mean, you are. Such a, I mean in a I'm probably twice your age, so I'm maybe not twice your age, but you know, definitely older.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:08:11] And I have to say I'm so impressed at the way that only 26, you know, that you've built this large social media media following for yourself, but you also have a book. As I mentioned again, with Simon and Schuster, which is a serious publisher. My book is also coming out by the way next year through Macmillan and Martin's press.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:08:45] And I'm excited about that too, but I mean, with you, your book, I'm just curious, like at what point did you say to yourself? I should write a book and then how did you end up. Going from the idea phase to actually having a book deal and writing it. I mean, again, just from my interest in high-functioning people, I look at that, whatever you did, and I say, wow, that is a really driven, organized young mind.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:09:00] So tell me how, like how did that happen?
Sydney Sadick:[00:09:14] Thank you. I mean, I first saw I'm such an old soul, so I think people imagine that I just graduated from college and everything I've done is like, in this short amount of time for the last three years, that's not the case I've been working since I was 16 years old. I had an internship with the daily front row.
Sydney Sadick:[00:09:29] I went to Harvard summer school and started this blog, which kind of went viral at that point. I had interned at Oprah magazine. Rachel Zoe, I freelance for the daily front row throughout college, where I was a journalism major at George Washington university school of media and public affairs. I was always very focused, always working.
Sydney Sadick:[00:09:34] You know, you're talking about your drinking episode. Like I don't really drink. I've never been someone who gets a high really on anything. Other than my work. So, you know, I'm 26, so it sounds young. But for me, it's like, I put so much pressure on myself of the things that I want to accomplish. And, you know, that's also kind of like we're Aim High comes about.
Sydney Sadick:[00:09:54] It's like, I am striving every day to achieve goals and no matter how great the goals that I am achieving are right now, I'm always onto the next thing. That's just the kind of bigger than I am. And in terms of the book, I had actually written another book that wasn't Aim High. And that was what I thought was going to be my first book.
Sydney Sadick:[00:10:11] And I was shopping it around. And, you know, once you know, my publisher who was connected with Simon and Schuster, Sky horse. And the two of them are together. They really loved my book, but they were like, wait a minute. But like, I feel like this is like your second book, the one that you wrote, what about, you know, something else for your first?
Sydney Sadick:[00:10:30] And it was the first publisher who I met with. He kind of challenged me in that way and they were right. They were a hundred percent. Right. And so when they really were, you know, Eager about this new concept. You know, they actually, you know, for me to write this, so it was a different situation where it's not like I wrote my manuscript and then was like, okay, here, it wasn't like that.
Sydney Sadick:[00:10:53] You know, I actually got hired basically to write this book and you know, was able to put, of course, all of my creative energy and spin and make it completely my own. But I just always knew that as a journalist, that I wanted to write a book, but it was like, what could I do that was different.
Sydney Sadick:[00:11:25] That didn't come off. Like I was a 26 year old trying to act like I've done it all, but could still help women and men, frankly. Find their style, but also not just be told how to dress or what to wear, but how to explain it. This is so much more than just materialistic items, clothing, accessories, makeup, all of it is really something that helps you build your confidence.
Sydney Sadick:[00:11:46] And to me, confidence is the key ingredient to creating that formula of really going after what you want.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:11:54] So I have to say I totally, I agree with you. You know it's funny again, for me, how sometimes people really want to look at women who like, you know, do themselves up and make themselves off.
Sydney Sadick: Like you do so beautifully and they want to talk about that. As a sign of, you know, low self esteem or she's trying to please the patriarchy or whatever, and I just don't see it that way at all. I'm, I'm curious if you've ever run into people that want to put you in that box and put you in that category either in real life or on social media and, and how do you stay resilient, you know, to use the high functioning words?
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:12:33] Like how, how do you. Remain high functioning, despite some of that negativity.
Sydney Sadick:[00:12:36] I think it definitely happens, you know, a lot, first of all, when I go on these television shows and I'm hosting these segments, I think automatically people just think that, okay, she just been brought on to talk about it because she can talk well, but no, that's not what happens.
Sydney Sadick:[00:12:49] I'm coming up with the ideas for the segments. I'm producing them every day. Item of clothing. I pick, I get delivered to my home. I'm unpacking it. Look at the shipping department. A lot of people used to like watching that on my stories. Before quarantine, you know, I was getting the models. I was setting up the tables, like it's a one woman show and, you know, that's.
Sydney Sadick:[00:13:08] Actually kind of what I love. I like knowing that the results I get are because of me and me only. Sure. Now I have people who are around me who give me their input and their advisers to me. But at the end of the day, I'm the one who's fully executing.
Sydney Sadick:[00:13:22] And on Instagram too and I don’t consider myself because I know a lot of people like to call me an influencer because they also don't. Sometimes remember that I was an editor at a magazine for many years. I am with these shows. I think that it's easy to assume that if I'm not showing everything that, what is she maybe always doing?
Sydney Sadick:[00:13:44] But I really, I'm so busy every single day and work so hard and, you know, just because I'm not showing everything. People never really actually say this to me. It's just something that's unconsciously. I think to myself, like if I'm not showing things to people who know what's going on, but I'm someone who doesn't believe in just talk.
Sydney Sadick:[00:14:04] I think action is always more important and I'd rather people see the results and see the journey of how I got there because I don't personally need like that validation of someone seeing me accomplishing the mini steps until I get to the main result. If that makes sense.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:14:22] No, that's that makes a lot of sense.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:14:25] I'm just curious though. I mean, as you are a public figure, do you ever deal with negativity or criticisms that, you know, kind of staying or do they just roll.
Sydney Sadick:[00:14:36] I'm always on this, but that's something by the way that I really pride myself on being, you always have to be honest and authentic because karma is a real thing.
Sydney Sadick:[00:14:43] And I do believe that those rounds, if you don't act that way, um, but I would say that like, Interestingly enough, I've grown so much throughout this pandemic, Instagram wise. Opportunity-wise my book. It's been a very odd time for me because I was like the most social person I knew. And then I went from being completely antisocial.
Sydney Sadick:[00:15:04] But at the same time, my career has been doing really well. But with that has come. Some I would call it bullying to be honest with you. From followers, it's been interesting. Some people who, I actually know people who would have never talked to me in college, but I know who they are because when I see someone, I remember their faces, that's just the kind of brain that I have.
Sydney Sadick:[00:15:27] And a lot of body shaming has been the trend, I would say every week for the last two months and getting women. Who are just going after me. And the worst part is that a lot of them it looks like are trying to send their, my stories to other people, but are accidentally responding to me instead.
Sydney Sadick:[00:15:48] Telling me I'm chubby that I have a FOOPA, just really, really hurtful comments. And I think if you asked me two months ago, I was super sensitive about them because that was just something I wasn't used to. And I actually did gain a lot of weight in college. Not from drinking, but from eating cupcakes because I went to, I was in school in DC and it's, you know, sprinkles, Georgetown cupcakes baked and wired.
Sydney Sadick:[00:16:16] If anyone's been there. And I think really, you know, something it's unbelievable. It's all the time. The worst part I think is because I've never felt better. Like, I feel like I met a great, you know, way. I don't, first of all, I don't even pay attention to the scale. Like wait on something I really focus on.
Sydney Sadick:[00:16:31] But the fact that people are trying to make it, my focus is like super crazy to me because I'm someone who tries to support everybody. It's just not in my blood to criticize people. And so when you see that you're such a topic of conversation amongst so many people in that way is very shocking.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:16:53] Yeah, definitely. I mean, I actually have gotten in some funny messages on Instagram as well, as far as body shaming, but they're actually on the opposite. They're on skinny, right? So like, no matter which way, and you know, I mean, again, it's, it's so crazy to me that, that you would get that kind of negativity, but yeah.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:17:13] Since I'm interested in high functioning people and how they manage to build and stay successful, not only in business, but just in terms of their personal self. Are you able to describe how you just personally brush that off when you encounter that kind of negativity from other people and that you don't want to let it deter you or bring you down?
Sydney Sadick:[00:17:36] And I think you just have to realize that if someone is wasting their time, Focusing their energy on critiquing others. There has to be something that they're not happy about with themselves. So, you know, I try to think like that, but you know, like honestly, I, it hurts at the first, you know, second that you read the comment and I think, you know, The worst is when it's someone who does know you personally, and it's not like I said, but yeah, I think you really just have to think to yourself, and this is what I try to do.
Sydney Sadick:[00:18:11] And it's not the easiest thing. It's not successful every time, but I just try to think to myself, you know what? There are so many worse things going on in this world. There's a pandemic. People are losing their jobs. How all these things are going on right now, if the worst thing that's happening to me is people are criticizing me.
Sydney Sadick:[00:18:30] Then I've got to get over it.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:18:33] Right. Yeah.You know, another person that who actually I think is also very high functioning, but is often underrated in that department is actually, Kim Kardashian. And she has actually put it very nicely. She said, haters are just more people paying attention to you.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:18:36] And so I guess that's, you know, another interesting way to put it, but shifting gears a little bit. I'm just curious, you know, I know you went to school at Georgetown, I think for journalism. And I'm just curious, did you like, think about other career paths or did you just always know that this is what you wanted?
Sydney Sadick:[00:19:08] Taking that summer program at Harvard when I was 16 was really what put me on the trajectory for journalism, because I had never been to summer camp. And my family felt that if I never had some sort of overnight experience, I probably wouldn't get accepted into a college outside of New York. So instead of going to camp, that was never really my thing.
Sydney Sadick:[00:19:28] I knew about the Harvard program. My mom talked to me about it. My aunt had gone and I've heard only great things. And you know, when you get accepted, you have to kind of select your courses. And the only ones that really stood out to me were journalism. I was like, okay. Writing, blogging, videos. That sounds cool.
Sydney Sadick:[00:19:49] And I literally went into it just that much of just not knowing about the industry, but just cause it sounded good then being able, like I said, to start a blog at Harvard and have it really do well. I just fell in love with telling stories and conversations, having conversations with people and really focusing on my other passion, which was always fashion, always been part of my world.
Sydney Sadick:[00:20:13] I grew up with a very stylish mom and grandmother and fashion was always super important to really everyone in my family. And so being able to combine my first passion, but now my new passion, new being at succeeding in journalism. I realized what I have to pursue what I really love for my career.
Sydney Sadick:[00:20:32] I don't like some of my friends and I don't judge these people, but I don't want to be like some of my friends who were just doing things with the intention of knowing exactly where things are going, or even like my father, who's a doctor. He knew if he got his medical degree. You would then be a doctor and then it was his job from then on out to know how successful or to figure that out.
Sydney Sadick:[00:20:48] But for me, for what I do every day is hustle. I am aiming high every single day. It's not a predictable career, but that's what I love hustling, zap everybody. But for me, that's what fulfills me.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:21:01]Yeah. I mean, I think that's very clear, you know, that, that you are super, super driven about that. How did it come to be then?
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:21:12] Like, I mean, so you, you had a successful blog. How did that translate to appearances hosting on E
Sydney Sadick:[00:21:17] Because between the blog and then being on air I had a job as being an editor at the daily front row, which is the long running Bible publication, New York fashion week. And. Through that job. I was always on the red carpet interviewing people.
Sydney Sadick:[00:21:27] I was writing hundreds of articles a week. I really developed that industry credibility through that job. That's why I do always suggest to girls who follow me. I think they think that, like, I just never had like a real nine to five job and I'm like, no, I very much did I did that. First of all as was an internship, which was really more like an actual job.
Sydney Sadick:[00:21:50] Cause I was doing everything and then freelancing threads, GW in college and commuting back to New York at the end of the week when I didn't have classes to cover events. Then becoming a full time editor for a few years after graduation, at that point, that's when I realized, take the leap and, you know, pursue being on my, on air.
Sydney Sadick:[00:22:10] Because at that point I had the credibility. I had the experience and I was making these connections with celebrities and designers that I knew that this was the right time to pivot in a new way.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:22:22] Yeah, that's so interesting. I do a fair amount of television as well. I don't think I do quite as much as you, I don't, you know, produce my own segments or anything like that.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:22:33] I guess they call it breaking the TV barrier. Once that happens, you know, then the media starts calling you more often. And, you know, in my case, it just happened where I was I'm on love. And hip hop was my first TV appearance because one of the rappers needed you know, they, they wanted him to like talk to a therapist on camera, like about some issues and we actually still stay in touch today.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:22:58] It was a lot of fun. You know, I, as, as a psychologist, I'm really interested in people and relationships. And I think a lot of those things do grow and happen actually over media. And there are relationships that you, when you're on camera and you do have viewers, or you are on Instagram and you have followers, it is a relationship, you know?
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:23:19] I just, I think that's so interesting. So shifting gears a little bit at gun, your daily schedule. High high functioning, high achieving person with a lot of latitude and independence. What does your day like, are you an early riser or night owl? Can you tell us what your day today?
Sydney Sadick:[00:23:36] I mean, it's definitely changed because of the pandemic before the pandemic, I was going into the TV studios, usually three times a week.
Sydney Sadick:[00:23:44] I was on a plane. Six times a month, I went to DC via train. Like I was always on modes of transportation and for my studio. Cause I'd usually be up at like four o'clock in the morning. So then the pandemic happened and I do this daily Instagram live show at 12:30 every day. I'm up very late doing the work.
Sydney Sadick:[00:24:05] I've just found that now that I don't have to be up at four in the morning, I like using nights. To be creative and to just like really get into my deep thinking and whatnot. And so my schedule, it was totally screwed up to be perfectly Frank. Now I'm not really going to bed before two or three in the morning.
Sydney Sadick:[00:24:11] You know, I get up around nine because of how late I'm going to sleep. And I don't have to be on my show till 1230. So then the morning, you know, is all about me. Um, getting ready for my conversation, promoting my talks. I'm usually on my email now at the book, it's just like, it's a 24 hour situation where I'm just getting like, which is amazing, like tons of emails and asks.
Sydney Sadick:[00:24:43] And now there are no limits. Like, I feel like I used to have, even in my prep pandemic life, I would have. Little bit of time to like, just take some time to myself, the plane. I wouldn't be able to just really my phone now. There's no boundaries now. It's just like work, work, work all day long. But you know, the main thing right now that stays consistent, like I said, is my lunchtime with Sydney show every day at 12:30 PM Eastern.
Sydney Sadick:[00:25:08] You know, usually I'm in meetings all afternoon. Phone calls or now podcasts like with yourself and, you know, at nighttime, like I said, just brainstorming and I try to, you know, I have dinner with my family each night, but you know, I was a very social girl or the pandemic I was out at like, Three events every night, you know, I would have fun dating and going out with my friends and everything that I did to create that life balance has really been taken away from me.
Sydney Sadick:[00:25:36] And I know everyone else feels that way, but I think for us social of a person that I was, it's a really hard transition, but luckily, like I say, in like everyone in my life says to me, luckily you're busy because that's probably what's keeping me sane.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:25:51] Right. Right. Definitely. And, you know, I was actually curious, you know, again, because you are so young and so gorgeous that I was like, Oh my gosh, you know, she, she must, you know, I wonder what her dating is like, cause I don't know if you know, but I also have another book called Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:26:05] Yes. I don't, you know, certainly don't mean to pry, but I can tell that, you do have so much energy and you do put so much into your career. How does that fit for you as far as like, time to think about if you want to have a partner like one day eventually.
Sydney Sadick:[00:26:13] Yeah, I mean, I do want to get married. I do want to have children. I feel like I'm a weird. Like anomaly in the sense that I really never had like a serious boyfriend, I've had very intense flings, like romances like more things that you would see sort of like in a movie versus reality I don't know why I attract that, but in terms of just like a guy who I could just like call to go to the movies with, I've never really had that.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:26:54] Single man, if you're listening, check out this.
Sydney Sadick:[00:26:56] Yeah. I mean, listen, like I think my mentality has always been like. I want someone who kind of has their shit together. And I think at 26, if you're trying to date guys who are in their twenties most don't, I don't mean to like stereotype. Yeah. It's just what I've noticed.
Sydney Sadick:[00:27:13] New York guys. It's a little, it's a little tricky. There's a lot of arrogance. That's the thing about me. Like, I'm super confident, but I'm not arrogant. And I really don't have an ego. I find that a lot of the guys do. So that's kind of unattractive to me. Um, and also, you know, it's like, I don't really drink.
Sydney Sadick:[00:27:30] I'm not a partier, I'm social, not a Parker. There's a huge difference. And I find that it's also hard to find someone who's kind of like that symbol, this you, but it's definitely the pandemics that made it interesting. I was going out with someone right before this and it just really sort of fizzled out.
Sydney Sadick:[00:27:38] It was at its early stages. But I think guys today, especially in New York, Don't really want to commit there. Imagine if that you're committing, it means like you're rushing to get married. And for me personally, I'm not like that. It's like, why can't you just have sort of like this friendship where, you know, you're exclusively together, you get to know each other and then you see what happens.
Sydney Sadick:[00:28:07] It's like, it's not so bad and white and I wish men didn't think that way, but I think most do. I don't know that or not, but that's just what I see from the men. I'm with.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:28:18] Yeah. Well, I do hope that you will read my books.
Sydney Sadick:[00:28:22] Yeah. I need all the help I can get.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:28:25] Yeah, definitely. We'll actually talk about like, when people do become exclusive by default and, and how for high functioning people that, that can kind of limit us a little bit unnecessarily sometimes, but then at the same time, we, we do want to be in a partnership, right.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:28:43] That, you know, presumably for most of us, the goal is, you know, marriage and you know, all of those kinds of things. But anyway, that's, that's a whole other whole other thing.
Sydney Sadick:[00:28:48] What about say just one thing that I feel like you would appreciate this, my friends, they always say when I'm like, why do you think it didn't work out with this guy?
Sydney Sadick:[00:28:56] And like half time I end it, but like just why. And they always go back to the fact that they feel that they're intimidated by me. And that's a really hard thing to wrap your mind around and it is.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:29:08] No, no, I think that's true. And I just want to validate what you're saying as well about, you know, younger minds.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:29:11] So, and, you know, younger men listening, you know, nothing against younger men, younger men definitely have their charms, you know, in many ways. I would just agree with you that probably most men under 30, especially in, in New York are not necessarily thinking like in a commitment oriented mindset and that's.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:29:32] It's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. But I can see where if you are in your twenties and you're looking to date and age peer, then you know, that would be a little bit limiting, you know, and I just want to say, I can understand that. but About your book if you can talk a little bit about what some of the highlights are and how, say that there's someone listening, who's like not particularly into fashion or style, but they're really into goals and they're saying Sydney.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:30:02] Connect the dots for me, how can I style myself and achieve my goals? Like, especially if it's, if it's a man or, you know, someone who doesn't really position themselves as like a fashion person, like how, how could they get to that point each chapter?
Sydney Sadick:[00:30:16] Of course there you learn lessons from everyone.
Sydney Sadick:[00:30:22] There's very tangible lessons that you take away, for how to dress. But it's also, again, very tangible lessons of how to sort of deal with certain situations. So for example, cause we were talking about dating one of my favorite chapters talks about how to dress for your different dating profiles, but it's starts.
Sydney Sadick:[00:30:41] With me going very in depth about my own personal struggles with day to day. And what I found to be super interesting is that the one guy that I thought I had the most help with the relationship ended because of fashion and not because of me, something fashion related to him. So each chapter, you know, Willy goes through these different scenarios.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:31:04] Wait a minute. Sorry. How did the relationship and because of that
Sydney Sadick:[00:31:08] It had to do with him not having anything to wear.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:31:18] Huh? And it wasn't just ignorance. Like you couldn't help him or he wouldn't accept help.
Sydney Sadick:[00:31:26] You know, he used it, I think as an excuse for his, a bigger issue. And I go into that in the, in the book, but that's my thing.
Sydney Sadick:[00:31:33] Like, you don't have to just be interested in clothing. That's like the story that I think a lot of people would find to be in saying and goes again into the bigger scope of what it is to be single right now in your twenties. And that sort of concept of starting with stories and anecdotes, and then leading into lessons is a theme that you see.
Sydney Sadick:[00:31:51] Throughout the entire book. I talk about struggling with weight. I talk about, um, you know, family dynamics and how actually fashion is really a representation and can be of generations of traditions. And, you know, there really are just these stories that I get into that I really believe that people can relate to.
Sydney Sadick:[00:32:14] So it's, you know, a very strong mix of fashion lessons, but again, these just. Relatable stories.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:32:22] Wow. That's great. I'm so glad that you actually chose that one particular example, because I think that really does show that, you know, the book has so much more than quote, you know, just fashion, you know, that somebody who isn't willing or a ball.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:32:40] To prepare for an event, you know, by, you know, learning what's appropriate, being willing, you know, to have that and to think about the signals that they're sending to the people around them. When I think about fashion as a psychologist, we think about it even in terms of grooming like psychologists, how the ways that gorillas and apes will groom each other and what it means, you know, about their relationships within, you know, their tribe of apes and things.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:33:09] And so it's funny sometimes, you know, humans can think that it's just clothing or it's just fashion, but, um, it actually says a lot about culture and personal identity and it doesn't even have to be quote, high fashion. But as a psychologist, you know, we're actually evaluating, you know, is somebody's clothing, you know, is, is it clean?
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:33:28] Is it conventional? You know, does it, does it look like the person, you know, is, is disorganized or shoveled? You know, those are the types of things that can be communicated. And then as I mentioned, also being a former yoga teacher, I'm also really interested in the way that how we groom ourselves actually communicates.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:33:47] To ourselves and feeds our self esteem as a behavior. So really interesting stuff. I'm super excited to get your book. Is it going to be on audio as well?
Sydney Sadick:[00:33:57] I am hopping so I don't have the final answer on that because of the pandemic. We're hoping so. I suppose my very soon, but yeah, it comes out September 15th, but it's available for the program.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:34:10] Yes. I know it's, it's available for preorder. So it's on pre-order at Barnes and noble, or as far as, you know,
Sydney Sadick:[00:34:18] Barnes and noble, Amazon, and also indie bound. If you want to support your local bookstore.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:34:22] Awesome. And the book is called Aim High. Okay. Perfect. Sydney Sadick Aim High. I'm definitely going to be reading books, Sydney.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:34:32] It was so nice to spend some time with you.
Dr Chloe Carmichael[00:34:40] Well, thanks. So much for listening to my interview with Sidney. I hope that you enjoyed it as much as I did. I must admit, I actually found myself almost a little bit intimidated when I first started speaking with her, she really does have such a charisma and such an such a sparkle to her. You can definitely see why she's all over the fashion world and you know, the big screen and everything.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:35:02] I've done a little fair amount of TV and things like that, but Sydney definitely takes it to a whole new level .And it was really a pleasure and honestly, thrilled to be able to spend that time with her. And I'm definitely, and you'd be reading her book. It sounds like a good one to me. And I hope that you enjoyed the interview.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:35:22] So this is where I'll sign up. But if you want more of the high functioning hotspot, of course, you can go to the high functioning hotspot.com. You can connect with me on social media. All of the links are in the show notes for this episode, but. You just Google Dr. Chloe social media, I'm on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, everywhere.
Dr Chloe Carmichael:[00:36:46] So I hope to connect with you soon and till the next episode.
MINDFUL SHOPPING: GET WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.
Whether it’s the holidays, birthdays, fashion week, or just everyday life, we can all become victims of the shopping bug: there’s always something new and exciting to buy. But while great stuff is… well… great, we also know that a healthy savings account feels pretty great too– and so does feeling content with what we have. When FOX5 called to ask me for tips on why we sometimes buy more stuff that what we need (or even actually want!), and for ideas on how to stay centered when impulse buys are tempting, I offered the two sets of tips below. The first set, called SAFE, offers some background on why we overshop, since it’s always helpful to have insight about why we do the things we do. The second set, SCRAM, offers tips on how to keep your eye on your real financial goals when rabbit holes beckon.
- Self image– People often shop to get a temporary feeling that they’re more like the people they see with certain items. Whether it’s a mountain climber raising his hand in victory as he scales Mount Everest while wearing an expensive watch, or a model whose airbrushed lips look beautiful in a new shade of luxury lipstick, we sometimes feel pulled to buy things that play to a part of ourselves (even a small, quiet part!) that feels pulled into engagement or identification with an image offered by an advertiser– even if we know it’s actually totally unrelated to being that way in real life (like liquor ads featuring fitness models doing shots).
Read the full blog here.