As a clinical psychologist, people often ask me how to "get rid of anxiety." They are usually surprised to learn that anxiety actually has a healthy and essential function: to help stimulate preparation behaviors and provide us with the extra energy we need to carry out those behaviors. A little bit of anxiety can bring adrenaline and focus—which can actually be quite handy when we're in a "go time" situation like taking a test, bringing our A-game during an important presentation, or even getting ready for a first date or job interview. I've come to label this boost as "nervous energy," which can be a gift if we learn how to harness it.
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As a clinical psychologist, people ask me a lot of questions about mental well-being, both on social media and IRL. I recently invited my Instagram followers to ask me questions through the stories feature, and I received a ton of responses. Here is one recent query that stood out:
As a clinical psychologist, I have encountered many women in their late 20’s and early 30’s who have anxiety because their biological clock is ticking, and they are nowhere near ready to have a baby– many of them feel they are too busy with careers or graduate school; and others struggle because they want to wait till they find a husband before becoming pregnant– yet they have no way of knowing when Mr Right will materialize.
Feeling anxious? We have good news! No matter how busy you are, how often you travel, or how limited your budget is, there is a new approach that may work for you. It can stand alone or be added to enrich your existing therapy experience. You can use it alone or in a group, and with or without optional live phone coaching. It’s called online learning with optional homework!
My online anxiety management toolbox deals with the three major types of anxiety that I’ve found are most common in driven, results-oriented people: Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and panic attacks. Why would these be common in successful people? I have found that a bit of GAD helps people to be conscientious, a little OCD actually helps people to be detail-oriented, and often times panic attacks are the result of hyper-focus on a particular goal. Many of my clients have actually RELIED on their anxiety to bring them a certain amount of success, and now they need to harness that anxiety so they can rise even higher!
Choosing an online therapist is not that difficult if you know what qualities and credentials to look for. In my first contribution to US News, I was given the opportunity to shed some light on online therapy and share a few tips when seeking an online therapist. Here is the link to the original article.
Measuring progress in therapy requires an objective analysis of the big picture.
As a clinical psychologist in New York City, I work with a lot of very goal-oriented clients who are interested in finding the perfect relationship. They’re sophisticated enough to realize that there is no “perfect relationship”, just the relationship that is perfect for them… but they still don’t know exactly how to find such a relationship. Especially following the release of my book, Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating, where I mentioned that using a matchmaker can be a great way date, I’ve received a lot of inquiries about how to do this.
There are many things to consider in choosing a therapist and I have often been asked which is the most important. It’s hard to say exactly which ingredient is the most important, but good rapport is certainly a vital component of a positive client-therapist alliance. When clients feel that they are understood in an environment with genuine concern, it is easier to expect positive results.
When we are faced with extreme world events such as terrorism, many of us can feel at a loss regarding how to process our emotions. On one hand, we feel full of very strong emotion; and on the other hand we may simultaneously feel as if we are actually so powerless over whatever official governmental response will be taken that our feelings can seem almost irrelevant to the broader picture of how these events fit into perspective.