Anger is a normal and healthy emotion, but sometimes it can become overwhelming and turn into an anger management problem. People develop anger management problems for different reasons. Sometimes it is because their mother or father had an anger management problem, and the child learns the parents’ habits. Other times, it is actually the opposite- if parents hold feelings inside and don’t teach their children how to express anger, then the child doesn’t have a healthy example of what to do when feelings of anger arise. Anger management problems may also surface when an individual is under a great deal of stress and feels that they have to take drastic actions in order to be noticed and get help.
Signs that anger may be a problem:
- You often hold things inside until you "explode" and say or do things you regret
- You have lost a job or a relationship over an angry outburst
- You say or do things when you're angry that are actually the opposite of how you really feel
- You break things when you're angry, even if those things are actually very important to you and you don't want them to be broken
- You are known as a "hothead" or have often struggled with your temper
- You have been so angry that you "see red" and can't remember what you said or did
Whatever the reason for how the anger problem developed, it is important to know that therapy offers tools to help you manage your anger more effectively and still get what you want. In fact, by managing your anger you will probably find that you are more likely to get what you want because you will be better able to maintain relationships and work with difficult situations. Dr. Chloe has extensive experience working with anger management for clients who are experiencing difficulty in personal or professional situations. There is no need to be ashamed or embarrassed if you recognize that you have a problem, but there is a great need to give yourself the support that you need in order to start making changes.
Dr. Chloe recognizes that the problem did not develop overnight, and she will work patiently with you to learn about your triggers and patterns when it comes to anger. This involves reviewing situations where you have lost your temper or done something in anger that you later regret. You may choose to talk about this yourself, or you can invite someone you trust to attend a few sessions with you to offer their perspective on the situation. This is sometimes helpful for people who have a hard time talking about their anger management problem even if they know that a problem exists. Once your particular patterns and triggers are better understood, the anger management work can begin in full force. Dr. Chloe will help you to harness your anger, remove yourself from situations that are likely to provoke an outburst, and repair problems if you have a slip. Depending on the nature of your particular anger management style, therapy may involve practicing new communication techniques, learning ways to relax yourself when you feel an outburst coming on, or learning how to spot problems before they start.
Once again, there is no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed if you think you may have an anger management problem, but you owe it to yourself to get help and receive the support you deserve in order to move forward. Contact Dr. Chloe to learn more.